I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus...

TOMMY (sings):

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus/ Underneath the mistletoe tonight

They didn't see me creep/ Down the stairs to have a peep

They thought that I was tucked up/ In my bedroom, fast alseep.

And I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus/ Underneath his beard so snowy white.

Oh what a laugh it would have been/ If daddy had only seen/

Mommy kissing Santa Claus to-night... 

JOHN (sings):

Yeah I saw my wife kissing Santa Claus/ Underneath the mistletoe tonight/

They didn't see me creep/ from the kitchen to have a peep /

They thought that I was senseless/ In our bedroom fast alseep

Yeah I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus/ Underneath his belt so big and wide...

John turns to the audience and says


"At this point all I see is red."
"The red of his stupid fur-lined suit"
"The red of my wife's lips as they curl round his..." 


John points his Steyr AUG at the Santa and Mommy. John empties it.

JOHN (sings, slowly):    

...And it's a shame my son had been/ a witness to his mother's sin

and his father shooting Mom tonight

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." 

John shoots Santa in the face with his Glock for good measure. Tommy runs away screaming.